There's something right there. You could certainly dig it a bit more ! I think it's mainly the lack of definition/precision in the neck and torso that's hindering your piece a bit. Also, the composition doesn't seem to focus on a specific part enough : the colors are almost as saturated on the body as on the face.
I wish you the best of luck going forward ! Nathan
I think this is a beautiful piece. The gritty and almost spontaneous style carries the paintings emotions. The girl, although she is posing sensually, looks disturbed. My friend, you have a gift, and this style works well for you! Have a great day !